


As If

by orphan_account, pureklaination



Series: Weekends [1]
Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M, Weekends Verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pureklaination/pseuds/pureklaination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darren likes 90's chick flicks. Chris likes Paul Rudd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As If

**Author's Note:**

> Chris and Darren don't get much time to sit around and relax, but the Blu-ray player gets a lot of use when they do. They might end up talking through most of them, but they learn something new every time.

Darren shook his head as he put the disc in the player and crawled back onto the bed.  "I can't believe you've never seen this before."  
  
“I have a busy lifestyle Darren, not everyone can spend the afternoon watching nineties chick flicks.”  
  
"Nineties chick flicks?" Darren asked, holding a hand over his heart.  "Chris, Chris - _'Clueless'_ is so much more than _that_."  
  
Chris poured himself a glass of Diet Coke from the bottle on the table next to the bed, “sure you’re not just making me watch this as an excuse to ogle Alicia Silverstone?”  
  
The corner of Darren's mouth turned up in a grin as he leaned in and nipped at Chris's shoulder through the fabric of his henley. "Now why would I do that when I have _you_ right here?"  He picked up the remote and gave it a little wave.  "What do you say?   Are you ready for one of the most epic experiences ever?"  
  
Side eying Darren suspiciously, Chris nodded once in agreement, “go on then, suck up.”  
  
"I'll suck you up," Darren said, giving Chris's neck a bite before hitting a button and bringing the movie to life.  "This movie is everything that was good about being a teenager in the nineties. Not that I'd know, since I was like, nine when it came out, but I think that's probably true."  
  
“They look like Barbies.”   
  
"And Heather doesn't?" Darren asked.  "Hey - do you think Kurt has an app to help him put together his outfits like that?"  
  
“I think _Kurt_ designs his own outfits. Though he could probably get very rich designing something like that and making it accessible from the website...” Chris murmured.   
  
"Good point," Darren said, picking up the bowl of popcorn and tossing a few kernels into his mouth.  "Heh," he laughed.  "Don't Dee and Murray make you think of Rachel and Finn?"  
  
Chris eyed the screen wearily, “I don’t know; Dee and Murray are way more fashionable... And this was made in the nineties?”   
  
"Well, yeah, but I meant how dramatic they are.  Just wait - it'll get more obvious as we continue.  Dude -" he said, bouncing up and down as he pointed excitedly at the screen.  "Okay, if nothing else, you have to love this movie because the Sicilian plays their teacher."  
  
“I’m concerned for your enthu- wait, who’s that? What’s his name?” Chris said, waving a piece of popcorn at the screen.   
  
Darren lifted an eyebrow.  "Wallace Shawn. He was in _'The Princess Bride?'_  You know, _'never start a land war in Asia?_  Does your awareness of classic cinema have even more holes than I thought?"  
  
Chris straightened up where he was sitting on the bed, “No, no not him, Paul what’s-his-face - wow he looks so _young_ there.”   
  
Darren jolted.  "Oh, yeah.  Paul Rudd.  I think this was the first big thing he really did.  I mean, it wasn't that big at the time, but you know what I mean."  
  
“You really know a lot about this movie don’t you? Should I be concerned with how many times you’ve probably seen it?” Chris settled back on the pillows and eyed the screen dubiously.  "What the hell does ‘buggin’ even mean?  
  
"You _wound_ me," Darren said, feigning distress as he shook his head.  "College, Chris.  Half of our late night study sessions ended in movies and munchies.  Might have been as valuable to my personal education as the time I spent in class - and _buggin_ means like, freaking out."  
  
“Your education got you laid I bet, watching this, the girls must have thought you were _so fly._ ” Chris embellished with air quotes on either side of his head and a smirk.  
  
"I take offense at that," Darren said.  "If I got laid, it was because of my debonair personality and my fantastic ass."  He forced himself not to laugh as he looked at Chris from the corner of his eye.  "That's how it worked with you, anyway."  
  
Chris looked up from the TV and dropped his hands back to the bed, “Well it must have been something because if you went around with pants around your knees, boxers hanging out and greasy hair - no, wait, it’s a moot point because I was a baby.”  
  
"I'm not _that_ much older than you," Darren said with a frown.  "Look, how many times have you seen _'Star Wars_? _'_  That came out before either of us were even born, and it doesn't mean we all run around looking like we have cinnamon buns stuck to our heads - though I still think you could totally rock that look, if you tried."  
  
“Yes but that’s _Star Wars._ It’s a classic, this is... idealistic teenagers with unrealistic expectations of adulthood and wait, cinnamon buns? Really? Judging you so hard right now.” Wow, Brittany Murphy, she must have been young too - Chris was too distracted to be offended.   
  
Darren leaned over and kissed Chris's cheek.  "You'd look perfect in anything.  And if you're going to criticize something because it depicts idealistic teenagers with unrealistic expectations, I have five words for you - _Kurt Hummel fed doves glitter._ "  
  
“Touche.” Chris replied, settling back in to watch the story unfold,”Kurt would fit in so well here.”  
  
"He totally would," Darren said.  "Blaine would probably end up fighting Christian for him."  
  
“Who’s Christian? We haven’t seen anyone by that name, or am I losing track?” Chris probably sounded a little _too_ concerned, but wow, someone Blaine would fight for Kurt over - this he had to see.  
  
"Damn it," Darren said.  "I totally spoiled it for you, didn't I?"  He shook his head.  "He shows up later.  Totally dreamy in his own way, but neither as fabulous as Kurt or as delightful as Blaine."  
  
Chris mimed hushing Darren with a finger to his lips and feigned fascination at the screen. “Paul Rudd though.”   
  
Darren put down the popcorn and gave Chris an appraising look.  "Should I be jealous?"  
  
“I’ll let you know when I’ve seen this Christian guy - for now just hand me back the popcorn. Actually,” Chris took the bowl and placed it back in the space on the bed, “this is an adaptation of Emma isn’t it? Which one’s Mister Knightly?”  
  
"Uhh..." Darren said, staring at the screen.  "Um, I don't know.  I never read _'Emma.'_ What did Mister Knightly do? _"_  
  
“We’ve _got_ to work on your Jane Austen, Darren.” Chris made a note to convince Darren to watch the movies eventually. “You know they’re not just books anymore? They’ve actually been made into movies several times each.”    
  
"I know," Darren said weakly.  "But no one ever gets naked or high in them.  That's not the only reason to watch something, I know, but you gotta admit - it helps."  
  
“You’ve clearly never seen Northanger Abbey, there’s stuff like that in that one-,” Chris fumbled over his words a little. “If I remember correctly.”  
  
Darren grinned.  "Maybe we can make that our next movie date."  He pointed at the screen.  "I know I'll probably regret asking, but you've said a lot about Paul Rudd. Does Jeremy Sisto not do it for you?"  
  
“His voice is too deep.” Chris shuffled around uncomfortably, “I don’t like it.”  
  
"Remind me never to do my Barry White impression for you," Darren said, pouting a little.  He _liked_ his Barry White impression.  
  
Chris shivered, watching the screen again as ‘Elton’ pulled into the parking lot  “What is he doing?  I knew he gave off creepy vibes for a reason, leave her alone you moron!”   
  
Darren squirmed a little.  "Let's just remember that there's a difference between character and actor, okay?"   He tilted his head and looked at the screen.  "Kurt would totally wear that outfit, if he was a girl."  
  
Pointing at the screen and squealing a little Chris fobbed off the comment from Darren, because if anyone knew the difference it was them, and they talked about it often enough. “It’s Josh! It has to be Josh, because he keeps saving her from her crappy situations.”   
  
"Okay," Darren said, crossing his arms against his chest.  "After this, no more Paul Rudd for you.  Your fixation is starting to give me a complex."   
  
“We should watch Knocked Up next w-.” Chris said, eyes stuck on the screen. “Oh. Hi Christian.” He may have let his jaw slacken a little in hopes of this jealous streak of Darren’s piping up again. It was adorable.   
  
Darren pouted.  "I changed my mind," he said.  "This movie sucks and we should never watch it again.  We should take it out and watch something with lots of naked women and no guys hotter than..." he thought for a second.  "Jonah Hill."  
  
“Aww honey, you jealous?” Chris scooted over to give Darren a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re wrong you know, Kurt definitely wouldn’t go for him.”  
  
Darren felt his cheeks burn a little.  "Are you sure?  He has that whole easy, jazzy _thing_ going for him."  He smirked a little.  "Then again, maybe Blaine would like him.  He is very stylish and pretty - like a certain someone we both know."  
  
“Kurt would go for Josh too, you know, more footballer less fifties wannabe.”  
  
Darren stared at Chris for a few seconds.  "Think about what you just said, Chris.  Do you _really_ think Kurt wouldn't go for a guy with curly hair and a kind of old-school feel?   _Really?_ "  
  
Chris thought about it for a second, eyes widening when the realisation hit him. “No, never over _Blaine._ No one ever over Blaine, they were literally written to be together, there’s no couple like that on the show.” Chris lightly fell into Darren’s shoulder, “I, however could be interested in the curly haired, old school vibe.”  
  
"Blaine has curly hair and listens to Roxy Music and the Police," Darren said.  "It's not Billie Holiday, but it's still pretty old school."  He grinned as Chris leaned into him.  "But I'm glad you think you could be interested in me - _it_ , too."  
  
While lawyers poured over depositions on the TV, Chris grinned and poked a finger into Darren’s rib, “I meant you, dummy.”  
  
"Then you should have said that, _dummy_ ," Darren said, some of the popcorn spilling from the bowl as he nuzzled against Chris's ear.  "You know how I like it when you're direct."  
  
“Like Cher? Maybe if I had put something in the oven before you came over, you would have a better impression of my liking you.” Chris said smirking. “Until it burnt, apparently.”  
  
Darren wiggled his eyebrows and did his best to look lascivious. "I have better ideas for where you could put something to show me that you like me.  Places that don't involve burning unless you're doing something wrong."  
  
“Your nefarious villain alter-ego is coming out again Darren, you’d best put that away before you hurt somebody.” Chris winked.   
  
"I'm just trying to keep the spark alive," Darren said.  "Complacency is death to a relationship."  
  
Chris looked at Darren under his lashes, batting them and letting his head fall to Darren’s shoulder. “You worry for our spark already? Adorable.”  
  
"I like what we have," Darren said.  "I want to keep it as awesome as it's always been.  Is that so wrong?"  
  
Chris smiled, trying to figure out what to say next but instead, linked his hand with Darren’s and turned back to the Cher going postal during her driving test and sighing contentedly.   
  
"Oh, look," Darren teased.  "More Josh - your favorite."  He gave a little laugh.  "How you can look at him and think _football_ , I'll never understand."  
  
“But now I know he’s Knightly he’s lost all appeal for me, besides,” Chris settles back pushing his glasses up higher on his nose, “I like my men a little more _rough_.”  
  
Darren grinned and rubbed at the scruff along his neck.  "I can be rough."  
  
“I know.” Chris said, before breaking into a chorus of _'All By Myself'_ along with Celine in the background.  
  
Darren winced.  "Man, you know I love you, but I can _not_ handle listening to that song.  Ugh."  He laughed as he watched the screen.  "Could that fountain _be_ more Freudian?"  
  
“But Darren, she feels _wretched._ Naturally that requires both a fountain and a song. Silverstone should make a guest appearance on Glee.”  
  
"Oh, man," Darren said.  "She and Lea would totally hit it off - they're both vegan.  I don't think we'd hear about anything but PETA all day."  
  
Chris bit his lip, “I guess Paul would be out of the question?” then grinned.   
  
Darren frowned and scooted away to the far side of the bed.  "That's it.  We're having a fight."  
  
It would have been far more intimidating if Darren didn’t look so _sad._ “Oh honey, I’m in agony, a shame spiral, you’ve been nothing but super-duper nice to me and I’m so sorry.” Chris pouted.  
  
"Wow," Darren said, blinking.  "You really _have_ been paying attention to more about this movie than Paul Rudd, haven't you?"  
  
Chris nodded, “I may even be sold on nineties chick flicks - at least this one. But if this ends in a wedding, I swear...”  
  
Darren's eyes shot toward Chris as he did his best to pick his words with care.  "Cher's in high school.  I promise she's not getting married."  
  
“Smooth bit of specification there.” Chris sighed as the scene changed to the two teachers getting married.  
  
"What's wrong with weddings?" Darren asked.  "They're beautiful - all about hope and love _cake_ and-"  He shook his head.  "Weddings rule, man. I hope to have one myself, someday."  
  
Chris fiddled with the comforter next to his leg while the ending credits flashed up sporadically.  (He'd learned something!)  “Never been to one.”  
  
 _"Never_?" Darren asked.  "But-" he broke off.  "What about Burt and Carole?"  
  
“Dude that was fictional.” And they were back to that. “I mean a real wedding with _real_ feelings and stuff - I just don’t know what the big deal is.”  
  
"Well," Darren said, trying to figure out how to put it into words.  "It's like, the most hopeful thing you can do.  It's putting yourself out there and saying 'I love this person with everything I have, and even though I know that half the people that do this end up broken hearted, I still believe in what we have enough to promise myself to them forever, because I believe in love, and I believe in this person, and I believe that what we have is real.'"  He paused.  "I always did have a problem with run-on sentences."  
  
Chris didn’t know what to say, so he picked up the remote to turn off the TV and turned to face Darren properly, the conversation was deep for such a light hearted movie, but it’s definitely a topic they’d never covered before - for whatever reason. “You would still want to do that in a _relationship,_ ” Chris hesitated over the words, “like this?”  
  
"Like what?" Darren asked carefully.  "One that's built on things like love, and trust, and other important things like my ass and your arms?"  
  
Chris snorted a laugh, “I was just. We’re guys, it would be harder - no innuendo intended.”  
  
"For now, yeah," Darren said with a nod.  "But that's _now_.  I mean, not to harsh the mellow or anything, but I'm not ready for that right now, anyway.  In the future..." he trailed off.  "If things stay as good as they are now, and maybe if you get over this obsession you have with Paul Rudd, then maybe, yeah."  He took the popcorn bowl and held it carefully as he twisted to rest his head in Chris's lap.  "I know it's not a possibility now, but things are changing all the time.  Who knows what things will be like in a couple of years?"  
  
Chris pondered his response as he ran his fingers through Darren’s hair. He _wanted_ that, he wanted a lot of things sure, but as he got older he couldn’t honestly deny the part of him that wanted a long term future with someone he cared about as much as Darren. To break the tension he said, “Paul Rudd isn’t my first choice; you have better teeth.”  
  
"And you have a better ass than Alicia Silverstone," Darren teased.  "So where do I rank?   Sixth?  Twelfth?  Hundred and sixty-ninth?"    
  
Chris considered his options, saying first could be an ego-boost Darren really didn’t need, but any less than that would be a lie. “Second, obviously.” He smirked. “But Ricky’s got kids and I’m so not ready for that.”  
  
"I knew you had a thing for him," Darren said.  "And lucky me that he comes with baggage.  It means I won't have to come up with a dastardly plan for getting rid of him when the time comes."  
  
Chris smiled and placed a soft kiss on Darren’s lips, pulling back just far enough to murmur, “he never had a chance.”  
  
"Lucky me," Darren said, looking up as their lips parted.  "You know what else is great about weddings?"  
  
“What?” Chris asked, running a finger across Darren’s jawline.   
  
Darren grinned and slipped a hand beneath Chris's shirt.  "The wedding night."  
  
Chris brought a hand up to his chest in mock astonishment, “ _Darren,_ you libertine.  What would Jane Austen say?”  
  
"I don't know," Darren said.  "But I think Paul Rudd would say _'go for it.'_ "  
  
“I’m down with that.” Chris replied, moving Darren’s head gently to the side and settling down on the bed next to him. “I knew I liked him for a reason."


End file.
